Teddy In Wonderland
by jezzlovescherrypez
Summary: An Alice In Wonderland twist on Stand By Me. Featuring the flamboyant Teddy starring in an 'Alice' role, with cameos from the rest of the cast as characters in Wonderland ;D


Teddy In Wonderland

_A Stand By Me twist on Alice In Wonderland. Anyone totally freaking out for the Tim Burton version, hitting the screens soon? I AM! _

_Hey dudes, I'm so sorry I haven't updated any stories recently. My whole writing mind seems to have gone walkabouts, and just left me dangling between Summer Starts Now, and my Cobra fic! I hope you like this, it's kinda been thought up on the spot really, so if its bad, blame my messed up brain. Plus its half three in the morning, and I want coffee ;)_

Chapter 1 - Through The Rabbits Hole

Teddy Duchamp wasn't usually this bored.

Hell, Teddy Duchamp wasn't usually left alone all afternoon! His Mom had gone to visit his Aunt Clara, and wouldn't be returning till the following morning.

She had left Teddy, in charge of the whole house, TV remote in hand, a stocked-up fridge full of snacks, and a couple of dollars on the kitchen table. She'd told Teddy over and over again he had to _look after the house, no wild parties, drinking, or causing a ruckus with his friends._ Most importantly, _no trouble._

Teddy promised his mother exactly this, beaming as she leant down and gave his cheek a lipstick stained kiss, grabbing her overnight bag, and leaving for the door.

A few seconds later, after hearing the car start up, pull out of the front yard and the sound of crunching gravel under the wheels as his mothers car drove down the roads, Teddy gave a wicked grin.

"I can't promise all of those, Mom"

***

It was fun at first for Teddy, as he reached over for a giant bag of potato chips from the side of him, and spread himself out over the sofa, turning on the TV to tune into Paladin.

_The whole house to myself,_ he thought to himself,_ No one here but me._

He'd call his friends in a minute. Verno first - he'd probably be doing exactly what he was doing now, except Vern's Mom would be in telling him to 'stop eating them chips too fast' or 'to take his feet off the sofa'

Teddy stared down at his own feet, warm beneath mud-soaked army boots, and smirked.

Gordie was next on his list. He rarely saw Gordie much nowadays, Gordie always seemed far more interested in doing his College Courses than hanging with the group anymore. But Gordie had always been like that, always been the smart one.

Teddy frowned to himself, thinking about the Shop Courses he was taking - painting a bird house. He muttered a few curses under his breath, and thought about calling Chris Chambers. Chris was always up for a laugh, and if Chris came round, Teddy knew Gordie would probably come to. They were stuck together like glue. Gordie had convinced Chris to do College Courses with him, and no matter how much Chris thought he couldn't do it, Gordie stuck with him and helped him.

_At least Chris knows how to have fun._

Teddy dialled Vern's number into the phone, twirling the line around his finger impatiently as the phone rang through. Eventually someone picked up.

"Hello?"

"Vern, its Teddy, I'm home alone, stocked up on food and booze, and Paladins on, you fancy coming over?" Teddy tried to sound as convincing as his voice could handle.

"Oh gee Teddy, that sounds swell, but the thing is…"

"Don't tell me" Teddy's voice was hoarse, "You've gotta help your Mom around the house?"

_He knew that excuse well._

"Yeah, I'm sorry Teddy"

"Jeez Verno, why can't your Mom just haul Billy in to help for a change?"

_Fat chance of that, Billy would be out with those faggots The Cobras, leaving Vern yet again to help with the chores._

"You know that isn't possible, Teddy" Vern whimpered down the phone, "Say, why don't we do it tomorrow?"

"My Moms back then Vern, what's the point?" Teddy sighed, "I guess we'll just have to have fun without you…"

"Teddy…"

Teddy hung up.

He dialled Gordie's number in next, and after two rings, he answered the phone.

"Lachance Residence"

Teddy tried not to laugh at Gordie's politeness down the phone to him.

"Gordo, its me"

"Oh, hi Teddy" he didn't seem happy to hear from him.

"Listen, I'm home alone, I got food and drink, and I'm in the mood to party, you wanna come over?"

"I can't at the moment, Teddy, I've got a stack of English work that needs to be in on Monday, and this is the only chance I've got to do it"

Teddy decided to use the Chris Method.

"Chris might be coming over later"

"Teddy, Chris is right here, working with me"

"Oh"

_Damn._

He heard mumbles in the background and the phone being traded between another person.

"Hello?"

"Chambers, my man! How you doing?" Teddy's voice was rich with enthusiasm.

"I'm good, man, I'm good. I'm at Gordie's house"

_No Shit Sherlock._

"Sounds boss man, but how long do you think you'll be studying or whatever you're doing?"

"Umm" Chris sounded generally puzzled, "I haven't a clue, I've been doing this shit for the past four hours and I still don't get it at all, and until I do, I'm pretty much screwed"

"You can put it off for a couple of hours, man! Come on!" Teddy was growing impatient at not getting his own way.

"I'd love to Teddy, but," Chris lowered his voice, "You know how strict Gordo is with my work"

Teddy managed a laugh, "Oh believe me, I know!"

"No hard feelings man?" Chris sounded genuine, and Teddy couldn't help but forgive his friend.

"Sure, why would there be?"

"Alright. Teddy?"

"Yeah"

"I'll see you"

"Not if I see you first" Teddy grinned.

***

Teddy found himself staring at the clock every couple of seconds. Time was going exceptionally slow at the moment. He'd managed to drink a few beers, and finish off his potato chips, and catch the end of Dragnet.

He sighed, wiping the dirt off his cola bottle glasses on his grubby shirt.

What he needed more than anything, was to get out of this god dammed house. He'd only been alone for around three hours, and already had run out of things to do.

He'd smoked a few cigarettes, watched a porno starring some playboy bunny his Mom didn't know he owned, made himself a sandwich, and had stripped off to his bare necessities (for no apparent reason). And now there was nothing he could possibly think of doing.

Teddy closed his eyes for a moment, lying back with his hands behind his head, and he thought he may doze off when from in the kitchen he heard the sound of smashing plates, and his eyes instantly flew open, and he shot out of his chair, pulling on a shirt and his pants.

"What the fuck was that?" Teddy shrieked.

Teddy Duchamp wasn't one to admit he was frightened, but when he heard that smash, he felt as if he'd shit his pants.

Looking around for some sharp object, he managed to find his baseball bat underneath the cabinet by the TV, he was ready to fend off any predator.

Teddy had to go into the kitchen, to see what the hell was going on, even though he could feel his heart racing like he'd just ran a marathon. His hands gripped harder around the bat, as he approached the kitchen door, breathing harder than he had all day.

He closed his eyes, kicked the door open, and gave his bat a swing, screaming slightly.

"Okay, you motherfucker!"

When he opened his eyes, he stared down at the floor, panting like a rabid animal.

There was nothing but broken plates, littering the floor. His Mothers best china plates, actually. The door wasn't even open.

Teddy stared down in disbelief.

_Shit, how was he going to explain to his Mom? Hell - it wasn't even his fucking fault!_

He sighed, and got down to his knees and started to gather up the broken plate, scooping them together, muttering curses to himself.

Suddenly, a flash of white caught his eyes, and Teddy jumped out of his skin, almost cutting himself on a shard of plate.

_Fuck,_ he thought, trying to catch his breath,_ Teddy Man, you've gotta calm yourself down! _

He rose up on his knees, and before he could do anything else, a white rabbit came storming through his legs. Teddy shrieked, falling back in shock, watching the rabbit run wild around the kitchen.

"Mother….fucker!" Teddy cried, feeling angry, "You little shit! You get the fuck out of my kitchen"

Teddy scrabbled back up, reaching for the bat again. Was he really going to kill this fluffy white bunny? Hell - it was in HIS kitchen, he could kill it for trespassing if he wanted to. Besides, he'd heard Rabbit Stew was pretty nice.

The rabbit was sniffing at some of the broken plate that Teddy hadn't picked up yet. Teddy's hands grasped tighter around the bat, and he swiped it down at the rabbit with such force.

All he heard was the plate smash more, and saw the rabbit dart out of the door.

_That was closed before,_ he thought, and started to run after the rabbit.

***

"You get back here, you furry shit!" Teddy hollered after the rabbit. It seemed the rabbit was ignoring him, forcing more rage onto Teddy as he chased the rabbit up the fields, swinging the bat around like a mad man. There was no way on God's earth Teddy was letting this damned rabbit away from him, no matter how fast it was.

He continued to follow the rabbit up to the trees, even though his glasses were slipping to the end of his nose, and his sides aches. This rabbit wasn't going to make him a laughing stock, and he_ definitely _wasn't getting the blame for the plates.

Eventually, it seemed the rabbit was slowing down, and Teddy felt himself approaching his culprit, feeling every inch the psychotic villain in a horror film. The rabbit had stopped near a hole, and Teddy knew he could frighten it away down there.

Just one more step, and the rabbit would be history.

Teddy took a swing, stepping forward, and tripping over a rough patch of ground, and before he knew it, he was surrounded in darkness.

_There we go, it's a little bit different than my other stories, but its worth a review? ;)_

Hope you liked it, I know it was short and you don't really get the main story yet, it'll get better. Sorry for leaving you guys so long! J


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